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A woman questions her worth

How I Escaped the Body Comparison Trap

Thinspo and fitspo have taken over social media. Some days it seems like the only thing I see on my Instagram is an onslaught of tight, toned bodies. That inevitably leads me to feeling less tight and toned and more soft and gelatinous. Then, I have to remind myself not to compare the body I’ve worked so hard for to someone else’s, which is the product of completely different circumstances. 

I’ve been comparing bodies my whole life.

I’ve been comparing my body to the bodies of my peers my whole life. I was never the tall, skinny friend or the short, small friend. I was somewhere in the middle. Not large, not tiny, but still living in a layer of baby fat that haunted me until my teens. I wasn’t entirely comfortable with my body, but my self-esteem wasn’t that bad because I liked who I was as a person. It wasn’t until college that I realized I had been comparing my frame and body type to the bodies of others and that it was a terrible habit I needed to break.

I finally realized I was in a body comparison trap.

When I started going to my college gym with a close friend, I caught myself obsessing about the ways her body was better than mine. She’s 5’4” and built slender. Size 0 is her body’s comfortable place. I, however, am 5’6”, and while I have narrow hips and naturally slender legs, I’m also broad-shouldered with a large chest and a freakishly long wingspan. No matter how many times I did just as many reps and exercises as she did, my frame was never going to change. And when I finally saw the light, my whole outlook on my body and exercising changed.

Comparing my body to others’ reduced the appreciation I had for the things my body could do. It made me feel like I wasn’t as good as others. It ultimately robbed me of the motivation I needed to exercise and eat healthy because I wasn’t getting any closer to that ridiculous desire to have a different frame. This is my main problem with using the bodies of others as motivation. Why do you want to picture the figure of a supermodel when you’re only 5’2”? You won’t look like that because that’s not your body type. I finally had the realization myself.

I gained self-respect when I stopped comparing my body to someone else’s.

The best thing that’s happened since then is I’ve learned to fully appreciate my body and all it can do. Before, I would be discouraged because my friend could do more pull-ups than I could, but now I can appreciate the fact my body can do three rounds of burpee tuck jumps without collapsing. I’m thankful for each squat, lunge, and push up I can complete. I’m grateful for a body that can jog three miles. When I’m not wasting time and energy picking apart my body in relation to someone else’s, I have the time and energy to be thankful for all of my body’s capabilities. 

I also gained some self-respect. I stopped placing others on a pedestal and began looking at all of the ways I improved. I noticed how much faster I was, how much my endurance increased, and how I could hold a plank longer every single day. Now I’m not upset because some girl on the other side of the gym is lifting 20 pounds more than me on the squat rack. I’m proud of the fact I’m strong enough to squat at all. 

I still have to work at it every day, though.

This isn’t something you just stop doing forever without any struggle. Comparing bodies is ingrained in us. “Perfect” bodies are blasted all over the media so it’s easy to fall back into the trap. I still catch myself being a little envious of someone else’s body from time to time. But now that I can be aware of this bad habit, I can actively stop myself. I still have to be diligent in only comparing my body to how far it’s come. I’m on my own health and fitness journey so my body is going to reflect that. It’s not going to look like someone else’s, and I’m okay with that. I’d rather look like myself anyway.

Last Updated: November 05, 2015