Bowflex
Bowflex draws its strength from the “Power Rod technology” it utilizes. Already, there’s some sort of new technology that sounds an awful lot like pseudoscience…
Bowflexes are supposed to be great for building strength that doesn’t apply super well to daily life. Save yourself some money. Get regular weights instead.
Shake Weight
In theory, shake weight uses “dynamic inertia” to build muscle as you shake this dumbbell.
In reality, it just becomes an internet sensation that looks a bit inappropriate.
Speedboard
The Speedboard is a gravity-assisted treadmill that actually seems to check out on its claims.
The problem? There’s not always handlebars, no front bar, and no easy way to stop.
iGallop
The iGallop simulates riding a horse. Without the fun of the horse, of course.
While it does do a great job and making you laugh, it’s doubtful that it actually helps you get in shape.
Walkstation
Walkstation is great for those people who feel that they aren’t quite sweaty enough at work. They wanted to be a little more out of breath at that next meeting, so the Walkstation was created.
It’s essentially the child of a treadmill and a standing desk, and short of the debatable office hygiene, it works.
Europlate VibraSlim
Vibrate that weight off! Europlate’s VibraSlim distributes “vibrational energy,” to the whole body!
As your body adapts to the vibrations, you’ll lose all that extra weight you no longer want.
Anti-gravity Treadmill
Have you ever wanted to run on the moon? With the Anti-gravity Treadmill… well, you still can’t run on the moon. You can run in a stationary bubble encompassing your lower legs.
It’s supposed to take the stress off your legs, but unless you’re an Olympic athlete, you probably don’t have much need for it.
Jacob’s Ladder
Jacob’s Ladder is the “ultimate fitness machine.” With it, you can do both aerobic and anaerobic workouts.
If you thought running on a treadmill was bad, you haven’t tried this.
EliptiGo
Ever wish that you could see the world while using your elliptical machine? If running or biking are too simple an answer, then maybe the EliptiGo is just complex and weird enough for you!
It’s a mix of a bike and an elliptical machine, perfect for your morning strolls.
Bodyblade
Bodyblade “uses vibration and inertia to produce rapid contraction that will transform your body.”
To use, you take a floppy, $100 stick and flop it back and forth. Sound good?
X-iser Portable Stepper
If you ever wished that you could take your gym equipment with you so that you could workout wherever, whenever, then the 13 lbs. portable stepper is for you.
Now you can do steps in a meeting, riding the train, or while cooking dinner!
Weighted Sleds
A weighted sled is a sled with weights on it. They’re perfect for the holiday season.
What better way to get in the holiday mood than by pretending to be Rudolph pulling a sleigh?
FaceTrainer
Sure, the internet is full of 6-minute ab workouts, but don’t forget about your face!
With the FaceTrainer, you can get your face in shape with just 10 minutes a day!
Hawaii Chair
The Hawaii Chair does not transport you to Hawaii. No, instead it has a seat that will sit and rotate in a flat circle, imitating a Hula Dancer’s dance moves.
It’s the perfect chair for serious conversations.
Free Flexor
The Free Flexor uses patent pending “Circular Strength Technology” to get you the results you want!
It’s a flexing dumbbell, but honestly, it’s just inappropriate.
Neckline Slimmer
With just two minutes of daily work, you can have the neck you want!
Just stick this in a bag or purse and use it on the go.
Talking Hand Exerciser
The talking hand exerciser strengthens your grip while speaking your stats in real time.
It’s like having a personal hand trainer in your pocket!
The Peddler
The Peddler is a great way, to sit back, watch Netflix, and wear your legs out at the same time!
There’s no need to go on an actual bike ride when you can get sweaty on your couch.
Treadmill Bike
If you ever wished you could go outside, walk around, and get in shape, then we have a great solution!
The treadmill bike is a great way to get in shape while dropping a ton of money on something really, really pointless.
Gazelle Freestyle
If you ever felt like a regular elliptical machine chops your step just a bit too much, then the Gazelle Freestyle is for you.
It’s a great way to go for an extremely over-exaggerated run or walk within the confines of your home.
Sketchers Shape Ups
With these extremely stylish, sleek shoes, you’ll be able to burn calories and shape your behind!
Well, that’s what Sketcher’s said. Now, they’re paying millions for false advertising.
Elite Fitness Inversion Table
Inversion tables are supposed to help you relieve back pain.
In reality, they just make it really difficult for you to get back up again.
Power Balance
These rubber bracelets used holograms to make you into the athlete you always wanted to be!
No one is sure where the holograms were, but they sure sold well!
Ab Rocket Twister
If crunches or Russian twists are too simple for you, then check out the Ab Rocket Twister! You can do crunches or Russian Twists on it while having your back and head… massaged?
No one knows what those massage rollers on the back are for, but we do know that it’ll take you from “flab to fab” with just 5 minutes a day!