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22 Worst Pieces of Health Advice from Goop

“Eat Morning Matcha Smoothie for healthy muscle function and glowing skin.”

This recipe posted on Goop’s website calls for a strange ingredient called tocos. Tocos is also known as “raw bran rice solubles” and is what’s left after rice is husked. What Goop doesn’t tell you is that bran rice solubles are known to contain arsenic and not an insignificant amount.

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“Burn your bra for spiritual healing.”

Paltrow recently suggested that you can get over your ex by burning your bra because it carries the toxic residue of relationships and painful memories. Apparently, women don’t buy lingerie for themselves, according to Paltrow.  Also, we can’t help but think that burning lingerie isn’t healthy for anyone’s psyche.

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“Take Ayurveda supplements for your Dosha.”

Goop doesn’t seem to understand that some supplements are dangerous. Ayurveda sends roughly 20,000 Americans to the ER every year, and the National Institute of Health says that they can contain toxic amounts of heavy metals. In fact, a study found that 40% of those that took Ayurveda supplements had lead poisoning. 

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“Conventional sunscreens are the root cause of most aging.”

Did you know that if you didn’t use sunscreen, you wouldn’t age? According to Goop, this is a fact. Only Goop-approved sunscreens keep you from aging. Many of the Goop-approved brands are $50 or more. Truthfully, you should wear sunscreen any time you plan on going out into the sun. It protects your skin and prevents it from aging due to sun damage.

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“Sex Bark makes you horny.”

First of all, this recipe requires you to use three products from the brand, which totals $73 on its own. Then it also requires an herb called “ashwagandha.” The herb is possibly safe when taken short-term, but it can also cause a sudden decrease in blood pressure, irritate the GI tract, exacerbate auto-immune diseases, increase thyroid hormone levels, and slow down the central nervous system.

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“A colonic is essentially a way to hydrate and irritate your colon.”

Colonics are sometimes necessary, but they aren’t something to be taken lightly. Colon hydrotherapy can be dangerous, and doctors don’t recommend it unless you have some sort of medical issue. They don’t even hydrate you. Those who undergo a colonic are actually at risk to become dehydrated. It’s best to let your body do its thing and clean your colon naturally.

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“Ayahuasca transforms lives and heals psychic wounds.”

To be fair, Paltrow prefaced the statement by saying that ayahuasca was some “pretty serious stuff,” but even that seemed to downplay how serious. It’s a brew or tea made from two plants and can cause intense nausea and can make people feel literally insane. Ayahuasca is known for being incredibly unpredictable, and those that use it never know what will happen.

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“We love a good cleanse.”

Cleanses have been pretty well researched, and studies have shown that they’re just ridiculous. Cleanses are a marketing technique. Those who try a cleanse may feel better because many require you to eat more fruits and veggies. The reality of the matter is that your body is pretty well equipped to purge itself of impurities – that’s why you have a kidney, liver, etc.

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“Let a bee sting you for great skin.”

Don’t let bees sting you. Paltrow personally discussed this “treatment” by saying that it’s “pretty incredible.” Meanwhile, people have died in the past by being stung. In fact, a 55-year-old woman died in 2015 by participating in apitherapy. Apitherapy is when a patient is intentionally stung by bees.

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“Steam your vagina to produce an energetic release and balance female hormone levels.”

Don’t do this. It doesn’t balance any hormones because the vagina and the uterus don't produce hormones. Additionally, steaming gets rid of good bacteria that can keep you from getting infections. It also goes without saying that you can burn yourself if the steam is too hot.

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“Eat Spirit Truffles to decalcify your pineal gland.”

Spirit Truffles is another recipe from Goop that supposedly de-calcifies the pineal gland, feeds the brain, nourishes the eyes, stimulates blood cells, and beautifies hair and skin. Again, this recipe calls for several Moon Pantry ingredients (Goop’s brand), and in the end, you can’t decalcify your pineal gland. The pineal gland is a mass of tissue in your brain that creates melatonin, so it’s best just to leave it alone.

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“Wearing a bra increases the risk of breast cancer.”

This is just complete nonsense. Wearing a bra doesn’t increase the risk of breast cancer, and it was a theory that was debunked decades ago. The reality is that there is no link between bras and breast cancer. Overweight women have a higher risk of breast cancer and also happen to have larger breasts that require an underwire for more support. Even if they didn’t wear a bra, they’d have the same risk.

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“All addiction is caused by addiction to yourself.”

Not only is this ridiculous, but it’s dangerous and glazes over the significance of addiction as a disease. Goop suggests that by letting go of the addiction of ourselves, we can choose wisely. Why hasn’t anyone said this in AA?

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“Get a slimmer waist by working out your fascia.”

You can get a slimmer waist by toning the muscles in your hips and stomach. However, if you’re trying to get rid of fat (as the Goop advice mentions), no targeted workout will get rid of fat in specific areas. Studies have shown that you lose weight in the last place you gained it. Usually, this means your face, and anyone that’s lost weight can attest to this truth.

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“Wear warm clothes to stay warm.”

The advice itself isn’t bad, but the idea that Goop assumed we wouldn’t know this plain fact is insulting. Did you know that you can stay warm by wearing warm clothes, drinking and eating hot foods, and taking hot baths? Goop, you genuinely are revolutionary. Did I mention Goop pushes this as a detox? Of course, it does.

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“Brain Sticks cure hangovers.”

Marketed as a “Hangover Cure-All,” Brain Sticks are what you’re looking for after a night of drinking. The Brain Sticks themselves are full of vitamin B, which is good for you, but it isn’t going to cure your hangover. When you drink, your body stops producing vasopressin temporarily, which is what helps your body absorb liquids. Instead, your body sends all the liquids to the bladder and explains why you’re dehydrated in the morning.

(Image via Goop)

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“France makes the best pharmacy products.”

According to Goop, French pharmacies are the best. We’re not going to say that they’re garbage and all the products are crap. Instead, we’re going to say that every nationality has something that’s amazing. Anyone ever heard of Tiger Balm? To add salt to the wound, one of the products is just water that’s $9, depending on where you buy it.

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“You probably have a parasite.”

Goop says four in six patients have a parasite. These parasites can cause a lot of issues like kid’s grinding their teeth or picking their nose. The fix? Goat’s milk. Drink goat’s milk for eight days, and it’ll all go away! If you think you have a parasite, please consult a doctor. Don’t try to get rid of it on your own because it can get worse.

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“Nearly half of women have an overgrowth of Candida.”

Goop claims that Candida overgrowth can cause fatigue, bloating, eczema, dandruff, sugar cravings, and a bad memory. Now is the point where we’re going to tell you that Candida is a yeast infection. Your arms? Yeast infection. Your face? Apparently, a yeast infection. If you had an all-over yeast infection, you would 100% notice, and it would appear as a rash and irritation.

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“Stickers can rebalance the energy frequency in our bodies.”

Goop is promoting stickers that can help rebalance you, and the company initially stated that they were made with NASA materials. NASA was quick to debunk that idea and claimed that using NASA materials would make the wearer “look like a resident of Nightmare Coachella.” The worst part was that the stickers were $60 for 10. They were about the size of a half-dollar coin.

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“Walking barefoot cures depression.”

Um, what? The idea is that walking barefoot is “Earthing therapy” and can cure insomnia and depression. We’re starting to think that Goop doesn’t really understand how the body works and how mental disorders are caused. Worst of all, the blog is apparently run by “doctors.”

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“Put a yoni egg in your vagina to heal your chakra.”

Paltrow is all about putting things where they don’t belong. This time, it’s a very expensive jade or rose quartz stone called a yoni egg. Doctors came out and claimed that the idea is unsurprisingly stupid. The rock is porous, which means bacteria can hitch a ride of the egg and cause infections in no time.

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