Yoga is amazing and life-changing, but no one started their first yoga class being able to stand on their head. If you did, you’re clearly a freak of nature, and this article isn’t for you. Every yogi has to start somewhere, and chances are that very first yoga class was more than a little awkward. If you’re anything like me, these were probably the ridiculous thoughts running rampant in your head.
- “No shoes allowed? But I forgot to paint my toe nails…”
- “I really hope this chick next to me can’t smell my feet.”
- “Nevermind, hers are way grosser than mine.”
- “Ok. Here we go. I’m breathing in…breathing out…Hey, this isn’t so bad.”
- “Tree pose? WTF did I get myself into?”
- “Is this right? Am I doing yoga right?”
- “Ugh. I definitely didn’t wear the right shirt for this. Everyone’s got to be looking at my fat rolls.”
- “Downward facing dog AGAIN? Can we not?”
- “My wrists hurt. My wrists hurt. Am I the only one whose wrists effing hurt?”
- “And now my nose is running. I hope my sniffling doesn’t annoy anyone…”
- “Everyone can totally hear me sniffling.”
- “Why is it so quiet in here, anyway?”
- “Do not fart. Do not fart. Get. It. Together.”
- “I’m balancing…I’m breathing….Why is everyone breathing so loud?”
- “What’s the right way to breathe, anyway? In through the nose, out through the mouth? Or in through the mouth, out through the nose? This does not feel natural.”
- “Child’s pose? Now this is a yoga pose I can get into. Maybe I’ll just stay here the rest of the class…”
- “Oh, so we are going to lie on the floor for the rest of class? What good will that do me?”
- “Everyone else seems so relaxed. How am I supposed to relax on a cold floor lying next to a bunch of strangers?
- “Oh, god. The instructor is coming around to massage my face. Don’t touch me. I don’t know you like that. Don’t touch me…”
- “So…relaxed…Ok, it’s naptime. Night, yogis.”
