For potential parents who opt for egg donation to start their family, the process can be confusing—not to mention intimidating. From choosing an egg donor to understanding the physical and psychological effects of this method of conception, it’s a lot to take in.
Nonetheless, egg donor programs are a great way to help a mother with egg-related conception difficulties conceive and carry the child in her own womb. Here are a few basics about the process to help you navigate choosing an egg donor.
What is Egg Donation?
Egg donation is considered assisted reproduction technology—instead of using only what’s already inside your body, it requires the assistance of a third party. This can be a great option if something is wrong with the mother’s eggs but her reproductive tract is otherwise healthy. Once you choose a donor and go through the screening process, your fertility team will take an egg from her, artificially inseminate it (generally using the father’s sperm, although there are other options), and then move it to the new mother’s uterus. Once there, the egg will grow and develop into a baby like normal.
Choosing a Donor
Some parents want to use as much of their genetic makeup as possible and choose an egg donor from within the mother’s family—a sister or younger relative who agrees to the process. It is critical to think long and hard about this and to talk seriously with the potential donor before going ahead. Eggs from a relative can create some interesting family dynamics that can be hard to manage.
As an alternative, many fertility programs offer a selection of women who have already elected to donate their eggs to families in need. It’s important to understand you may never meet the woman. Some donors will ask to remain fully anonymous, which is allowed—even required—by some donation programs. However, some women will feel comfortable meeting with you, talking to you, and discussing any concerns or questions you may have about her medical history or other pertinent subjects.
Donor Health Screening
Once you select an egg donor, your doctor will initiate a medical history screening (although some programs screen donors before potential parents ever even consider them). Her current health, medical history, and genetic makeup will be fully evaluated for any red flags. This includes a pelvic exam to assess reproductive health and a screening for inherited diseases or a predisposition towards certain disorders. Donors must also provide a full family history, both psychological and medical, as well as any substance abuse issues.
While the donor’s physical health might seem most important, she must also have a complete understanding of the psychological effects of egg donation. If your doctor suspects any mental instability or an indication of future psychological or legal problems, this will end the screening process for the current donor. Egg donors are also informed of any legal rights they retain within the process and in regards to the child that will develop from the donated egg. It’s important for potential parents to understand these rights as well.
Egg Donor Programs
Each donation agency engages in different practices. Your program may allow you access to a full range of information about your potential egg donor, including hobbies, education, ambitions, and current career. Some programs don’t, believing such tertiary things do not necessarily indicate the best donor choice. If you don’t like the way the agency you’ve chosen runs things, it is absolutely your right to seek alternative care.
Your family’s requirements for a suitable egg donor are your family’s alone. Do not let anyone else dictate who you should choose. If you don't feel absolutely satisfied with this donor, you do not have to choose her. This is an important choice that will have significant consequences for both you and your child's future. Trust your instincts, make sure you know what you’re looking for from the outset, and don’t be afraid to ask questions.
