Choosing to find out your baby’s gender before birth is a very personal decision. Many families feel a connection to the tradition of the surprise. Other families find the big reveal to be a relief and limit some of the stress associated with the anticipation. Both options are good, but if you’re having trouble deciding it might be time to consider a few practicalities. Here’s a look at the pros and cons of finding out the sex before you have your baby.
Pro: You can decorate your nursery accordingly.
If you know what sex to expect, it suddenly becomes much, much easier to shop -- and far more exciting. You can paint your nursery solid pink, or stock up tons of blue onesies and a pair of tiny suspenders. As a bonus, family and friends often feel more confident buying gifts knowing the sex -- which means you get more before the baby arrives instead of scrambling at the last minute.
Con: If you want to maintain a level of gender neutrality, good luck.
Unfortunately, knowing what sex to expect means that most of your friends and family are going to send items appropriate for that sex. Some families choose to encourage the exploration of both, rather than forcing lace and bows or trucks and baseball hats on their child. Keeping the surprise can force those gifts into maintaining the gender neutrality you’re looking for.
Pro: The foreknowledge can help you feel more attached to your baby and less stressed.
Some parents have a difficult time wrapping their head around the impending arrival while (s)he’s still safely tucked away in the mother's womb. And that’s not only ok, but completely normal. Once you have a gender pronoun, rather than the generic “it,” getting attached to your expected newborn can be a lot easier. Additionally, it can be really stressful to have so many unknowns floating around. Finding out the gender early on can give you a measure of control in a process with very little of that. Plus, if it’s not what you were hoping, you can get used to that as well.
Con: Older siblings may be have a harder time adjusting.
Having a specific sex to accompany the announcement for very young children can make the idea of a new little person joining the family easier. However, older children hoping for a specific gender may react negatively when it’s not what they’ve been hoping for. This can give them some time to get over the initial, harsh reaction -- but you may get a few days or weeks of pouting while they come to terms. Eventually, any sense of disappointment is often overwhelmed in the face of the excitement of the new arrival.
Pro: You can have the name all ready to go.
Finding the right name is a weighty process, and no wonder! It’s going to follow your newborn forever. If you’re having a hard time picking a name for one sex, knowing what to expect can make the process less stressful. Either you’re good with the other gendered name, or you know it’s time to really get down to business and figure out what you want to call him or her.
Con: Even if you want to, the secret is hard to keep.
Some parents choose to have the gender revealed, with the intention of keeping it just between them -- some even choose for one to know, while the other doesn’t. However, this is a big, exciting secret. Slip ups are bound to happen. And sometimes, you’re just too pumped not to share. If you intend to keep your lips zipped, make sure you have an idea of how to go about that.
