People have fairly polarized opinions when it comes to having sex during pregnancy. As a father-to-be, the desire for an active and satisfying sex life is countered by the uncomfortable myths and fears surrounding the idea of sex with a pregnant woman. Of course, the decision as to whether or not you'll be having sex with your pregnant partner isn't purely yours to make. However, if both of you are in the mood, sex during pregnancy isn't only safe, but natural and healthy as well (in most cases).
Complications
It’s important to understand intercourse is almost always safe during a normal pregnancy. There are complications or extenuating circumstances in which it’s a good idea to talk to your partner's obstetrician or midwife before engaging in intercourse. Times when extra precautions should be taken include:
- History of miscarriages
- Increased risk of preterm labor
- Multiple birth pregnancies (twins, triplets, or more)
- A weak cervix
- After any unexplained spotting or bleeding
These are all heightened risk factors during pregnancy and the need for satisfaction should never compromise the health of mom or baby. Additionally, make sure to understand exactly what your partners OB means by “sex.” In some cases, anything that heightens arousal or causes orgams is off limits. Some experts suggest orgasms can actually ensue labor, which can be dangerous for women at risk of an early birth.
Finding a Good Position
For most pregnancies, however, there’s no reason to stop being intimate. Despite the extra weight, stretch marks, and overall discomfort of pregnancy, chances are high your lover is still interested in sex. In fact, some women find they become more lustful during pregnancy. Furthermore, many of the hormones and natural body responses to orgasms can be highly beneficial for pregnant women.
Just remember, there's a baby in there, and she may not enjoy all the positions she used to (for example, laying on her back for too long can impede blood flow). Opt for positions that don’t create too much wear and tear on the cervical wall, such as both of you on your sides, pressed up against her back, like you are “spooning.” This lets you be close, keeps her comfortable, and doesn’t stick a big baby bump in between you two.
Understanding the Hormonal Flux
As a pregnant woman’s main source of support, it’s critical you understand that just because your partner can have sex doesn't necessarily mean she wants to. Sex can rank either very high or very low on the scale of importance -- depending on what her hormones are doing and how desirable she feels. Helping her relax and minimizing stress can do wonders. Instead of going straight for the gold, offer a no-strings massage. Rub her feet, rub her back, and take the time to invest in a little pampering when she's tired and bloated, and not entirely in love with her new, pregnant body.
