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How to Make Time for Your Partner With a New Baby

Bringing home your new baby is a wonderful feeling, anxiety about being a new parent aside. As the newness wears off, however, many couples notice their lives revolving around their newborn, instead of around each other. The changing family dynamics a newborn introduces can put a strain on even the strongest relationship as the interruptions a baby brings interfere with quality romantic time. Here are a few tips for keeping your relationship with your partner strong through parenthood.

The Newborn Effect

The neverending cycle of sleeping, feeding, and diapers a baby brings is demanding and draining. Between midnight feedings and a 5 AM wake-up call, neither parent has much energy left for anything by the time your little one is actually asleep. A new mother, in particular, tends to devote all her attention to the newborn -- and while that’s not a bad or unusual thing, it can leave her partner feeling a little left out.

Additionally, most mothers are restricted from sexual intercourse for at least a month following childbirth. On top of doctor’s orders, getting used to a new and less taut or slender body can be difficult for mom. Since many dads find the last months of pregnancy a little frightening for sex, many couples find themselves quite suddenly going from a hot and heavy love life to not having seen each other naked for six months.

When this happens, it’s important to pay attention and take steps to regain some intimacy with your partner. Some couples discuss the potential for a few unromantic months before they actually occur. This can be a great way to get a plan in place to keep your relationship thriving and to minimize unrealistic expectations.

Daily Passion

Just because you can’t have sex or are too exhausted to even go out to dinner doesn’t mean you can’t express your love for your partner in other ways. Leave love notes around the house, take Baby on a walk around the block and hold hands, or just find a few minutes to talk about your days over dinner. While a typical date night used to include just the two of you, your family is a little bigger now. Instead of going on dates, plan family outings to the park, the zoo, or just into the backyard for a picnic.]

Alone Time

Basing all your romance on sweet, daily interactions is going to lead to some serious sexual frustration. As your newborn gets a little older, you’ll have longer periods of uninterrupted sleep, which means more energy to go around. Take advantage of that energy and schedule time out of your busy lives to be alone together. Call in a babysitter and go out for drinks, call in the grandparents and go out of town for the weekend, or just wait for nap time and reignite the passion. Figuring out how to be new parents and lovers can be difficult, but it is definitely doable.  

Last Updated: May 09, 2018