I’ve had bad eyesight for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I used to lay on my stomach, head in my hands, literal inches from the screen of the huge box TV on the floor in the living room. I had no other option if I wanted to watch my morning cartoons before school.
I got my first pair of glasses in first grade, and I remember thinking they were so cool at the time, mostly because I was finally able to sit on comfortably the couch and still see the TV screen. However, the novelty quickly wore off. Over the years, my eyes have gotten progressively worse, resulting in the daily decision between wearing inch-and-a-half-thick glasses or forcing a foreign object into my eye.
If your eyes also suck, then you can probably relate to the following struggles:
- When the last line of the chart at the eye doctor is burned into your memory for the rest of eternity, rendering it completely useless. “EVOTZ." Like I said, I couldn’t forget it even if I tried. Doesn’t mean I can see it, though!
- When hipsters wear fake glasses as some sort of fashion statement. Really? That’s like someone using crutches just for fun.
- When you're putting on your finishing touches in the bathroom mirror, ready to walk out the door…and then BAM. Giant makeup stick in your eyeball. Day = ruined.
- When someone says they understand how you feel, but their prescription is -3.00 or better. You switch glasses with that person, and their wimpy lenses make almost no difference. However, two seconds of wearing your coke bottle glasses makes their eyes water. And maybe even scream.
- When touching your eyeballs becomes a normal part of your daily routine. Plus, that instant, excruciating pain when you realize you put your contact in the wrong way. Again.
- That first, panic-stricken minute of every morning, frantically groping around for your glasses on the nightstand and knocking over everything in your path—usually including a full glass of water.
- When you experienced the world for the first time after getting your first pair of glasses. “There’s individual leaves on trees!? And my god, is that really what I look like in the mirror?”
- When you go to a 3D movie while wearing your glasses. Don’t even bother.
- When you go to your yearly eye exam and somehow your prescription has gotten even worse. Not to mention dreading the day you take the DMV eyesight test and they take your license away because you’re legally blind.
- When you don't have your lenses in and everyone around you is reduced to fuzzy, flesh-colored blobs.
