Bowflex draws its strength from the “Power Rod technology” it utilizes. Already, there’s some sort of new technology that sounds an awful lot like pseudoscience… Bowflexes are supposed to be great for building strength that doesn’t apply super well to daily life. Save yourself some money. Get regular weights instead.
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In theory, shake weight uses “dynamic inertia” to build muscle as you shake this dumbbell. In reality, it just becomes an internet sensation that looks a bit inappropriate.
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The Speedboard is a gravity-assisted treadmill that actually seems to check out on its claims. The problem? There’s not always handlebars, no front bar, and no easy way to stop.
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Walkstation is great for those people who feel that they aren’t quite sweaty enough at work. They wanted to be a little more out of breath at that next meeting, so the Walkstation was created. It’s essentially the child of a treadmill and a standing desk, and short of the debatable office hygiene, it works.
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Vibrate that weight off! Europlate’s VibraSlim distributes “vibrational energy,” to the whole body! As your body adapts to the vibrations, you’ll lose all that extra weight you no longer want.
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Have you ever wanted to run on the moon? With the Anti-gravity Treadmill… well, you still can’t run on the moon. You can run in a stationary bubble encompassing your lower legs. It’s supposed to take the stress off your legs, but unless you’re an Olympic athlete, you probably don’t have much need for it.
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Jacob’s Ladder is the “ultimate fitness machine.” With it, you can do both aerobic and anaerobic workouts. If you thought running on a treadmill was bad, you haven’t tried this.
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Ever wish that you could see the world while using your elliptical machine? If running or biking are too simple an answer, then maybe the EliptiGo is just complex and weird enough for you! It’s a mix of a bike and an elliptical machine, perfect for your morning strolls.
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Bodyblade “uses vibration and inertia to produce rapid contraction that will transform your body.” To use, you take a floppy, $100 stick and flop it back and forth. Sound good?
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If you ever wished that you could take your gym equipment with you so that you could workout wherever, whenever, then the 13 lbs. portable stepper is for you. Now you can do steps in a meeting, riding the train, or while cooking dinner!
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A weighted sled is a sled with weights on it. They’re perfect for the holiday season. What better way to get in the holiday mood than by pretending to be Rudolph pulling a sleigh?
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Sure, the internet is full of 6-minute ab workouts, but don’t forget about your face! With the FaceTrainer, you can get your face in shape with just 10 minutes a day!
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The Hawaii Chair does not transport you to Hawaii. No, instead it has a seat that will sit and rotate in a flat circle, imitating a Hula Dancer’s dance moves. It’s the perfect chair for serious conversations.
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The Free Flexor uses patent pending “Circular Strength Technology” to get you the results you want! It’s a flexing dumbbell, but honestly, it’s just inappropriate.
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Find yourself talking on the phone too much? Need a stronger arm? If so, the dumbbell phone is perfect for you! It’ll get that one arm super sore super quickly!
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With just two minutes of daily work, you can have the neck you want! Just stick this in a bag or purse and use it on the go.
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The talking hand exerciser strengthens your grip while speaking your stats in real time. It’s like having a personal hand trainer in your pocket!
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The ThighMaster is a classic. Introduced in the ‘90s, it was supposed to tone your inner and outer thighs. Now, they mainly just sit collecting dust in attics across the nation.
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If you want to eat with these utensils, you’re going to have to work for it. You’ll be sure to burn all the fat in one arm anytime you want to eat!
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Why work for abs when you can by a weird grid that will force rectangles onto your stomach?
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The Peddler is a great way, to sit back, watch Netflix, and wear your legs out at the same time! There’s no need to go on an actual bike ride when you can get sweaty on your couch.
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If you ever wished you could go outside, walk around, and get in shape, then we have a great solution! The treadmill bike is a great way to get in shape while dropping a ton of money on something really, really pointless.
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If you ever felt like a regular elliptical machine chops your step just a bit too much, then the Gazelle Freestyle is for you. It’s a great way to go for an extremely over-exaggerated run or walk within the confines of your home.
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With these extremely stylish, sleek shoes, you’ll be able to burn calories and shape your butt! Well, that’s what Sketcher’s said. Now, they’re paying millions for false advertising.
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Inversion tables are supposed to help you relieve back pain, but in reality, they just make it really difficult for you to get back up again.
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These rubber bracelets used holograms to make you into the athlete you always wanted to be! No one is sure where the holograms were, but they sure sold well!
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If crunches or Russian twists are too simple for you, then check out the Ab Rocket Twister! You can do crunches or Russian Twists on it while having your back and head… massaged? No one knows what those massage rollers on the back are for, but we do know that it’ll take you from “flab to fab” with just 5 minutes a day!
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After receiving divine inspiration, the Chariot skates were created with the intention of providing their users with the most “addictively exhilarating skating experience possible.” Nobody’s sure why you would want to be addicted to skating, but for only $4,250, you can’t possibly go wrong!
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